The Ocarina Of Time: Mistress Quest
by Makio
Summary: Ever wonder why Link stays quite? Lets just say He has a bit of a mouth on him, and it lands him in hot water with A Great Fairy, now he gets to experience the joys of womanhood.
1. And it begins

The Ocarina Of Time : Mistress Quest

By: Makio

Disclaimer: As A matter of Fact I **DO** own Zelda. That obviously why I'm writing crappy spin-offs on this website.

---

It Was a cold and irreversibly Soggy day in Hyrule, What was making it more miserable was that the nuisance flying above a soggy wet mass of green would not stop singing.

'There goes Peter Cotton Tail hopping down the bunny trail, Hip pity Hopping Cause ---' The small Fairy was cut short as a tiny dagger like sword was swung at her.

"Navi, Could you please for once in your life SHUT UP." The small green blob shouted angrily his little voice echoing throughout Hyrule.

"Hmph.." The tiny glow looked at him for a second "Well Link, If you didn't take so long to get to Hyrule Castle I wouldn't have to amuse myself now would I?"

The sound of Teeth grinding could be heard "I told you Navi, I'm crossing Hyrule on foot, its going to take some-- ", "--Cause Easters on its Way!" Apparently Paying Attention was not the young Fairies strong point.

"You die now!" Ling said annoyed as he swung his Kokiri Sword about. However being roughly the size of your pinky finger, Fairies are incredibly hard to even catch let alone hit with a blade. This left Link Slashing away at a pile of bushes rather than the Iritable partner that hovered behind him watching, highly amused.

However it was in this wild rage Link had found that he had whittled the poor brush down to virtually nothing, And under said brush was a peculiar sight. Under the brush sat a perfectly circular hole, it was to dark to se down but it peaked Links curiosity and he virtually forgot Navi even existed.

But the tiny glow stick was still there, and in Links absent mindedness she felt it would be funny to push him into the deep dark and surprisingly round hole.

After a bit of a scream and the dust cleared Link looked up into the light "Navi I'm going to put you in the bottle when I get back up there"

"If you get back up here" She stated rather bluntly.

Link grumbled and dusted himself off looking around; first thing he noticed was that it was rather elegant, in-fact very elegant. The marble columns outlined a pool of water with the sacred crest of Hyrule stationed in front.

"This must be those Fountains of power I heard rumors of." It was true, in the Kokiri forest there was rumored to be one but nobody ever found it.

Walking onto the crest he looked around, nothing happened puzzled on what to do he waded into the pool it was pure, link felt bad as the mud on his boots caused the water to turn a light brown.

Rather suddenly the water began to glow, frightened Link scrambled out as a great and rather unattractive fairy appeared. "Who dirtied my pool!?" she said angrily

Link looked at her in disgust, and not for just how she looked, the fact that he did not want to see a fairy right now also contributed to the gnarled face that was Links, "I was just trying to summon you, I want my powers."

The fairy looked at him for a bit "Well aren't you demanding. But you know I don't 'Give' powers I grant them to those who are worthy, and to those who didn't soil my water."

Infuriated Link looked back up at her "Listen lady! I got a crappy fairy partner who never shuts up, this tunic chafes and the Great Deku tree gave me some lousy directions. Not to mention you're on my last nerves I mean what kind of woman wears leaves as clothes, sheesh good for nothing fairy not giving me anything even though I summoned her.

"You think my clothes are bad?" She said in a booming voice "And what exactly do you know about women?"

"I..." Link had no answer all he knew about was girls from the village, and they were always quite frankly tomboyish.

"That's what I thought.. Maybe I should teach you a little something about being a woman hmm? You want a gift of my power, I'll give you a gift of my power you little ingrate." She loomed over Link quite menacingly then suddenly came down and gave Link a little flick on the forehead.

For a minute Link felt a little strange, it almost tickled but it quickly faded, And he looked up at the fairy "You didn't do anything" he said with a flat face "Some power"

The great fairy just looked at him for a minute in amusement and snapped her fingers, Link began to feel strange again but rather than tickling it started to hurt, and it hurt a lot. His skin felt like it was burning and his groin was being pulled by a rope, the pain began to get so excruciating that he began to get dizzy and pass out.

He woke up looking at Navi about 10 feet away from the hole, the tiny fairy hovered and poked around him looking at his face "Link I'm SOOOOO Sorry I didn't know this would happen! Don't hurt me please."

---

- I know its bad and such but I was just bored in class and felt like typing this up in and hour or so. Maybe I'll update it, if the mood strikes me


	2. By the Goddesses!

The Ocarina Of Time: Mistress Quest

By: Makio

Disclaimer: Seriously nobody will sue you for this, why put these up?

---

Link looked around groggily, All he could remember was that he had pissed off some over-sized Navi.

"Link... All you alright?" Navi said in a sweet almost sorrowful voice

"I'm fine.. But your still getting the bottle" He stated angrily as he sat up, the first thing he noticed was the Long Locke's of blonde that fell over his eyes. It took a moment to register "He.. Hey what happened to my hair!?" he said as he pulled trying to disprove that it had grown substantially in the time he passed out.

That's when it registered as to what occurred not long ago, Links eyes widened as he shakily grabbed his tunic and peeked inside, the result was a window shattering scream. "That goddess damned fairy!" Link ran up to the brush where the hole had been, the brush had re-grown, which was not uncommon in the land of Hyrule. But however As Link hastily cleared the brush he could find no hole. "Where the hell is it?" He said almost crying.

Link sat on the ground exhausted, the brush was all but gone, only a few twigs remained. Navi flown around "Link, come on Link its not the end of the world, but it will be if you don't get up! We have to see Princess Zelda."

Links eyes looked dull, "Why?" He pulled out Emerald that the Great Deku tree had given him, "I'm no hero anymore."

Navi sighed somehow she had to snap Link out of this, she felt bad enough that it was her fault but Link was acting like a... that it.

"Gee Link I guessed that faerie really did turn you into a girl, your even acting like a world class gold plated wuss" Navi said rather smugly

This got Links attention, and unrenowned to Navi, Link shot her a glare that thankfully missed, However hundreds of yards away a postman just exploded. "I am NOT a wuss"

"Whatever you say" Navi stated while sticking her tongue at him she had him, like taking candy from a baby. "We should give a new name for the baby how about Catricia?"

20 minutes later - 

Navi pounded on the glass of the horrid faerie prison that was the common bottle, "Link come on let me out, I promise to be good please.. Link?"

Link by now had shoved her into a little sack to further muffle her sounds while he put on a few extra layers of clothing to best avoid her and her new skin.

----

Somewhere in the great cosmos the goddesses sat and looked down upon the poor heroine without a faerie.

Din turned around and looked at Nayru and Farore "I.. I never made that faerie I swear."

Nayru, presumably the 'Leader' of the three looked at Din and sighed "Well… Lets look at what has just screwed up." The Goddesses somewhat examined how the misfortune will affect the future.

"Great Triforce! We have to fix this." Nayru said rather astonished at what the hell she just seen. Farore who finally managed to look up from the complication the zoras have created… sodokus as they called them. "Do we have to? Perhaps this is what Mother Fate wanted."

Din nodded in agreement "Besides, I don't want to go back there, I did some crappy craftsmanship on Death Mountain and its all shaky."

Nayru grimed, thousands of years being stuck with these people really took a toll on your patience, "We are going, and that's final"

"but Nayru!"

"No I'm putting my foot down!"

"Ah shit not the foot"

"1"

"Nayru no!" Din said in a panic

"2"

"Nayru please reconsider the foot" Farore stated while actually getting out of her chair

"3"

"Damnit" The two had said in unity

Link looked up into the sky from her constant trudging and bitching to see a, what apperead to be, star exploding.

"What, but its daylight? How the f---" Links sentence got cut off by the high pitch scream that was the 3 glowing balls hurtling into the earth creating a Hole roughly the size of link himself. He ran over and looked inside and spotted three twitching faeries, each glowing there respective color of green red and blue.

"What is it!? Link let me out I wanna see!"

Fianlly agreeing to Navi's wishes Link released the nuisance, who fluttered over to the crater and peered inside "Oh great goddesses!"

"What there just faeries? Lets go I have enough glowing annoyances in my life"

"Those aren't just faeries! Bow your head Link Bow bow bow! Now.. Get on the ground stomach first! No! Get them out of there! Do it now before I bitch slap you!"

Link rolled her eyes "Fine..." she whined as she got down into the crater and picked them up by there wings.

"Hey! Let me go!" Din protested angrily "Do you know who I am!?"

"Well actually no..." Link had her focus on the flaming fury that the other two managed to wriggle out of his hand and watch as Din gets herself into another mess.

"You don't know who I am? What is wrong with you!? I am Din! You know the goddess? the Flaming Beauty"

"At least she got Flaming right" Farore stated with a slight smirk

"That was one time!"

"And you LOVED it"

"Oh your going down Faerie girl"

"Your a Faerie to" Farore said quite blandly "Sheesh Its like talking to a 3 year old."

"ENOUGH!" Nayru shouted silencing the two, she rubbed her head as she looked up at Link.

Link looked down at the three quixotically "If your gods why do you look like faeries?"

Nayru cleared her throat "Well we weren't exactly suppose to come back to this world. But certain events has forced us to intervene, so to not cause mass hysteria we took a more imperceptible form"

"Certain events" Link thought for a sec, she always was kinda slow

"You turned into a Girl, you dumb-ass!" Din finally shouted

Link Looked at her angrily the recently events has caused her to forget than minuet detail until now "Shut up it wasn't my fault!"

"It was by my calculations" Farore interrupted "you should know not to tempt a faerie"

"And since you turning into a girl has defiantly interrupt the entire cosmos we are forced to make sure you get the job done. Looks like were partners" Din said smoothly after finally calming down

Link shook her head "Thanks but no thanks, ever since I became the 'boy with a faerie' nothing but bad stuff has happened, I don't need three more tagging along, hell I don't even want this one, its broken" he pointed to Navi who was busy bowing to the goddesses and apologizing for everything Link said while walking away

Nayru just looked at him "Well that's to bad, I guess we won't tell you how to change back"

Link ran back as fast as her new legs could go "You can change me back!?"

"Well we can't, but the triforce can, it can grant any wish"

Link scooped all three and started running towards what she presumed to be Hyrule "What are we waiting for! Lets save the Goddess Damned world!"

"Hey I take offence to that"

"Oh shut up or you get the bottle, come on Navi"

The goddesses sighed " Its gonna be a long journey"


	3. the princess was always a tomboy

The Ocarina of Time: Mistress Quest

Makio

Disclaimer: Due to constant surveillance of my house by strange pizza vans I feel it is necessary to say that I do in fact not own Zelda, Link, Navi, or any other subsidiary characters in this so called fanficton. I am not to be held accountable for any claims made in past or future chapters of this story and as such should not be held against my will by and army of ninja's that seek and destroy the very threat that is claiming that you own a game, anime, or any other form of entertainment. I concede to the fact that disclaimers are there as a legal right to protect one from the vicious lawyer sharks that browse through in an attempt to find stories that do not have a disclaimer or worse off do infact claim they own them. So regrettably I announce that I am being sued by the Nintendo Company for the sum of three gumballs and 28 cents for my misuse and incorrect, incoherent rambles of claiming that I own The Legend of Zelda.

"Move your ass"

"Bite me"

"I was sitting here first"

"I don't see your name on it"

"Its right there!"

"Hey!" Link brushed off the flame on his tunic has Din scorched her name into it, "What the hell do you think your doing!"

"She started it!" Din innocently pointed towards Farore

"I did not!"

"Did to!"

"ENOUGH! I don't care who started it I'll finish it!" Link soon found it obvious as to why Nayru had volunteered to go into his spare bottle, Which had not been washed in ages and reeked of fish and rotting milk. Link envied her.

The goddesses mentality seemed to be that of a 5 year old, Link couldn't help but wonder how such immature creatures could form worlds and dictate the fate of the universe.

"I thought I told you to move"

"I thought I told you to make me!"

"Don't make me come back there!"

Navi bopped around Happy as ever "Link we are only about an hour away from Hyrule Castle can you see it in the distance!"

Link looked hard, she was right Link could begin to make out shapes of towers and the hazy image of a draw bridge "Hey we are almost there! About time"

Din releasing the headlock she had on Farore looked ahead "Yeah about time.. we would have gotten there faster if somebody didn't start walking in circles."

"I'm so sorry my goddess, would you prefer to fly on your own there?" Link said in a sarcastic tone

Din saw this as a great opportunity to put Link in her place, "Well I'm sorry princASS I promise I'll be good"

Link swatted at her and kept walking. The recent gender change has caused Link quite a lot of discomfort, both mentally and physically, being raised in a village where children never grow up she was unaware of what the hell was exactly happening to her, but it hurt to run, and the fact the she hasn't taken off her clothes since the change has caused some unwanted chaffing. Din however, has not yet ceased to stop teasing the poor boy turned girl.

----------

Link marveled at the hustle and bustle of the town she was in, it was almost glorious, aside from the multiple glowing pest the plagued her vision every 45 seconds.

"So what do we do now?" Link asked still looking around in excitement

"What do you think idiot? We go see the princess" Din rolled her eyes

"But I wanna look around!"

"Missy, the fate of the universe rest on your hands, and I'll be damned if your going to screw this up for us, now March"

"But"

"MARCH!" din and Farore said in unison

"But.."

"Do you want me to get Nayru, And wake her up from her sleep?"

"I.. I'm going, I'm going" Link said conceiting to the threat at hand

------

Link looked around the courtyard, there were gaurds every which way "How the hell am I suppose to get passed all these gaurds?"

"Isn't it obvious, Duck and Weave through them"

"Joy.."

Link went up and around the gate using the ladder then falling through.. it was amazing how oblivious these gaurds were. After exiting the little outpost stationed in the gate she began to creep through the grass.

"Like a fox, I'm a fox… sneaky as a fox"

Unfortunately Neither Din nor Farore were sneaky as a fox

"Stop looking at me" Din hissed in a low whisper

"I'm not looking at you"

"Yes you were"

"No I wasn't"

"Your doing it again!"

"No I'm not"

"YES YOU ARE!"

Now despite the guards having terrible vision, they could clearly hear that, now Link was faced with the constant running of guards and whistles being blown. In a matter of seconds Link found herself surrounded

"Trespasser state your name."

Link looked around and pointed to herself silently

"Yes you"

"I am…"

Din Feeling slightly responsible for this mess had spoken for Link "Fools! Do you not know who this is? Bow before your princess"

Link passed Din a dangerous glance but suddenly noticed the gaurds lowering there weapons and murmuring

"Could it be her?"

"I don't know, I thought I had a report that she was at the castle not long ago"

"Well you know how she likes to escape"

"but look what this one is wearing"

"The princess is known to be a tomboy"

"Why does she have fairies with her?"

Link intervened, silently squeezing dins mouth shut "I.. uh took up a new hobby, umm Faerie collecting" She quickly pulled out The bottle Nayru was in and showed the guards, causing the Small Goddess to awaken "See?"

The guards looked around but seemingly came to s suspicious decision "Princess… Your father is finishing a peace treaty with the Gerudo king and he has decided that you should be present.

"Wha.. But I should definitely go to my room for my miss deeds yes?" Link was trying to sound as girly as possible

"Well We will let your father decide on that after the ceremony, now come on, we can't have you looking like that" One of the gaurds grabbed her bvy the wrist leading her to the castle

"Hey let me go!"

"Now princess don't make a fuss, this is a big day for your father and you wandered off to hunt faeries speaking of which, Kain"

"Yes sir"

"Take the faeries and put them in jars for the princess's room"

"What no!" Link said, actually worried about what might happen to the four freaks that happen to be his only friends and solution to this problem at the moment

Unfortunately the guards had already swooped them up, Din and Navi were fluttering around furiously while Farore simply sat down.

"Don't worry they will be in your room, you can see them after your dressed"

"Dressed…" Link gulped


	4. I knew he was a pedophile

Ocarina of Time : Mistress Quest

Makio

Disclaimer : -Insert Funny quip here-

---

Link looked around, for a tomboys room it sure was girly, the guard that had been 'escorting' her had finally released her "Princess please wait here while I summon the maids"

"Uh ok..." Link said rather distracted by the mammoth sized bed after sleeping in a log her whole life this was paradise

The guard left and Link looked around, sure enough Her Faerie comrades were on the shelf. Din and Farore were bickering in one bottle and Nayru and Navi were sitting down and chatting up a storm in another bottle, and every few minutes all four would stop and giggle at Link.

Link edged towards them to release them from there cage when the door slammed open, and dozens of servants came flooding in, carrying all manner off dresses and among other things which Link hadn't ever seen before. Before it could even register in Links mind four of the maids had surrounded Link and de-clothed the poor girl while the rest laid out an assortment of garments.

Link finally snapped into reality just in time to see herself nude in the standing mirror, Link quickly shut her eyes. "Bad dream Bad dream Bad dream" She kept murmuring to herself, but she could feel things being pulled up and down on her body, one maid was brushing her hair while another fastened something on Links chest, link tempted herself to open her eyes and see what's going on but then she could feel the horrid pain of strings rubbing her back and all of her organs seemed to have suddenly been pushed in.

The Goddesses and Navi watched in slight amusement, trying to guess which garment will go on next. Navi won the last round by guessing corset.

Link was finding it hard to breathe, and move, not that she could. The maids dressing her were moving about so fast that they hardly spoke. Link could feel shoes being crammed onto her feet and a dress shoved over her head. Her hair was fastened and seemed to defy gravity as a hat was placed on it to keep any loose strands from falling into her face.

Then as quickly as it began it was done, the maids wheeled the cart of clothes out of her room while the last one out bowed and the shut the door.

Link was still standing there with her eyes shut and all the while consistently stammering "Bad dream, it just a bad dream" over and over again, Link finally opened her eyes when she heard the rapping of the glass from Navi and Nayru.

Link's first instinct was to run over and free the faeries, while trying to avoid eye contact with the mirror. However, Links first act was to immediately fall down. Link drew courage and looked past the purple and white dress to her shoes, they were something link had never seen before. They made her considerably taller and seemed to have spikes at the end of them. Link thought they must be shoe swords, since she never seen a woman carry a---

"My sword!" For the first time in a long time link spoke "Where is my stuff" Link looked around "Its gone! Where did they take it?" Link kicked off the shoes and ran over to Navi and freed the pest "Where did they take my stuff!"

Navi giggled "You Look pretty"

Link growled and turned to Nayru "Where!?"

Nayru looked up at Link in confusion "the maids took it to be incinerated, didn't you hear them?"

"They what!? Damnit the Emerald the Great Deku tree gave me was in my pockets!"

Nayru looked up at him quickly "Oh shit..."

"We have to go! we have to.."

"Ahem.." Link turned around rather quickly to see a, well what appeared to be, a woman an ugly woman... wearing some type of body suit.

"Who are you?" Link asked in a commanding voice, trying to sound like royalty to her best ability

"Why princess it is but me, Impa? Don't you recognize me, no? Well thats because you aren't Zelda are you?" She said with a smirk

Link backed away a bit "H.. How did you know?"

Impa just smiled holding her ground 'Well I have practically raised Zelda, I can tell. And besides, the princess can walk in heels." she said Dangling Links shoes "So unless you want me to call the gaurds, you best tell me who you are"

"I.. I am Link, I was sent here by the Great Deku Tree to save Hyrule"

"I see.. so you were the person the princess saw in her dreams, strange I could've sworn she said she saw a boy"

"Eh... Complications Arose, ensued, and overcome."

"Clearly..." she said looking at Link in strange amusement "You know a girl normally lifts her dress when she walks"

Link ignored her comment releasing Din and Farore "Look I don't need anymore teasing, I just need to see the princess."

Impa thought for a second, it has been ever so long since she had proper fun "And I'm SURE the princess will be thrilled that your wearing her things."

"Well I would go see her naked, but I would rather have her see me in a dress"

Impa listened to the trumpets in the background "Oh my, looks like Ganondorf has arrived, your due at your fathers side, _princess_"

Links heart sank "I'm not going until I get the emerald back, and my sword."

Impa sighed "Tell you what, I'll go fetch your stuff, while you pretend to be the princess."

Link looked at her with curiosity "Where is the real princess..."

"She is spying on the events waiting for you"

"What?"

"Your rather dense... just trust me, I'll sort this all out"

"But I don't know anything about being a princess!"

"Just smile and nod, smile and nod."

"Gah wait!" Link ran towards her but Impa had already performed the trademark ninja poof.

As Link coughed about the smoke a guard walked in "Princess the ceremony is taking place" Link did exactly what Impa had said, she smile and nodded

---

Impa walked up to the real Zelda, "Princess our hero has arrived?"

She looked at Impa excitedly "Really! Where is he!"

Impa giggled a bit "He is preoccupied at the moment"

Zelda looked at him confused so Impa simply pointed to the window. As Zelda peered through her jaw dropped, and she looked at Impa "What the hell is going on!?" She said in a harsh whisper.

"Let me explain..."

---

Uncomfortable couldn't describe how Link was feeling right now, she was sweating bullets she was so nervous in fact. However those bullets soon turned to ice as Gannondorf walked into he room, Link could feel the evil beaming off of him. So could the four faeries who were hiding in Links dress giving her pointers so she wouldn't be discovered

Gannondorf Looked up at Link in an almost pedophile like lust, but simply smilied menacingly. But none the less Link could sense she would be squaring off with him one day.

It wasn't until the end of the ceremony that Ganondorf caught something out of his peripheral vision, It was… Princess Zelda? No that's not possible the princess is right… after a few double takes he was thoroughly confused, however he bypassed the situation at hand believing it was delusion brought upon by excitement that his evil plans of conquest is finally being put into play.

'Princess Zelda' Received quite the scolding from her 'father' And it wasn't just for running off to catch faeries, Link got a list about a mile long. It seemed the yelling would never stop. Having been raised in a forest of children Link was not accustom to being 'taught a lesson' and was promptly sent to 'her' room.

Link sat on the bed, finally able to breathe after the faeries loosened the strings on the corset, Link made a mental note to kill Din the first chance she got.

"Ahem"

Link spun around rather quickly thinking it was Impa with her things, however it turned out to be a little less of a joy "Princess Zelda I presume?" Link said with rather smugness

She laughed a bit "Oh I don't know, you do look just like me"

It was true Link finally swallowed her pride and looked in the mirror, the two looked identical. One would think they are the only two blonde people in Hyrule.

"Stow it princess, I just got punished for about everything you did wrong in the past 5 years"

"Actually that was about a weeks worth of stuff" She said smirking "Besides You get a reward for getting me off the hook" as she handed Link the Emerald and Sword

"You have to save Hyrule, and you can't do that without proper equipment"

"Wait wheres the rest of my stuff" Link asked quixotically

"Oh funny thing… Impa couldn't locate everything, You need a new shield and outfit I assume"

Link rolled her eyes "No I'm going to go save Hyrule dressed like you." The statement was in the most sarcastic of tones

"Well... I might have something..." Zelda shuffled through her closet and pulled out a ragged old dress "Its jsut like your tunic!"

"No its not! Tunics are for boys Thats a dress"

"Just take it"

Link mumbled a few things and took it

"Besides, it has magical properties of mysterious nature that will aid you in your adventure"

"So its going to help me?"

"What did I just say?' Zelda rolled her eyes "Look the guards will be here soon to check up on me! change out of my clothes and get out of here or we will both be in some deep shit"

Link, a little taken back by how rude a princess could be did as she said. Luckily Navi and the others did most of the work, and the corset and dress practically fell off as Link changed into her 'tunic' it looked just like her old tunic, maybe slightly more forest green, but Link knew it was a dress.

After getting fastned into some more comfortable shoes Link began to look slightly cheerful again as Zelda handed Link her sword and the emerald. "Your next stop should be Kakariko Village, from there go up death mountain and meet the Gorons the next sacred treasure is up there."

Link nodded and hopped out the Princesses window as she sat on her bed "So... Looks like we just royally screwed up didn't we Impa?" She always knew when Impa was watching in the shadows

"Yeah I think we did..."

---

Note : I can't tell if this was a good or bad chapter :/ But whatever. Not Like I'm writing it to amuse you guys.


End file.
